Your Energy Speaks Before You Do
I came across a line just last week that stuck with me: “Your energy introduces you before your words
I came across a line just last week that stuck with me: “Your energy introduces you before your words do. Get right with yourself.”
It put into words something I often struggle to explain. That sense you sometimes get around people, you can just feel it. You know something about them already, without knowing them at all. You sense their heaviness. Or their steadiness. Or perhaps an air that’s harder to name, but impossible to ignore.
Long before you say a word, people already know something about you. Beyond their pre-set assumptions, call them judgements if you like, they feel your energy. And unlike those assumptions, your energy is completely determined by you.
You’ll think of different people than I do. But I guarantee you’ll see them in what follows, because energy is a mirror. We’ve all stood in the shadow of a Cloud, or basked in the warmth of a Sun, or chased an elusive Mystery.
The Black Cloud
I’ve met this type in my personal life, and it was hard. Living in close quarters, you couldn’t escape the weight they carried. They had so much going for them – intelligence, family support, opportunities most people would envy – and yet they were their own worst enemy. Day in and day out, they couldn’t wait to tell me how badly their day had gone, or how horrible something was that had just happened to them. After a while, you stop listening to the words and just feel the weight. Negativity becomes their identity. Instead of gratitude, they projected grievance. Instead of openness, they radiated entitlement.
I’ve seen the same energy in business, and in some ways it’s even more damaging. One leader I worked closely with held a crucial role in the organisation. On paper, they were sharp, capable, and well-positioned. But every room they entered felt smaller, heavier. Their energy didn’t just affect them. It rippled through the culture, shaping how others showed up.
That was the lesson. You can tick every external marker of success, but if your energy is corrosive, people won’t want to follow you. Respect may linger for what you’ve done, but trust erodes because of how you make others feel.
Leadership takeaway: Energy without gratitude becomes a drain. And when that energy comes from someone in leadership, the cost is magnified as a shadow over both people and culture.
Who in your world carries this heaviness? And what impact has it had on you or those around them?
The Sun
Before they even speak, the table shifts. I’ve been lucky to meet a few Suns in life, and every time, the effect is the same. People lean in. Conversations brighten. By the end of our first interaction, I realise I had spent more time laughing and sharing ideas than I had in weeks.
That’s what it feels like to be around a Sun. Their energy is the human version of sunlight: warm, expansive, and impossible to ignore. They radiate kindness, ambition, and curiosity. Even when things go wrong, they carry a belief that brightness is just around the corner. You leave them not only feeling better, but feeling like you are better.
I’ve come across a few people like this in life and in business, and they stick with you. They’re the colleagues you fight to collaborate with because their belief in the work lifts the whole team. They’re the friends who make even the hardest days lighter just by showing up. They’re the clients who inspire you to bring your best because you want to match their energy.
Being around them is addictive. You want to keep them close, not because they’re perfect, but because their energy magnifies what’s possible.
Lesson: Radiance attracts. In leadership, this isn’t just a nice quality. It’s a competitive advantage. Sun-like energy draws in talent, opportunities, and loyalty. Teams rally around it. Clients remember it. And organisations are sustained by it.
The challenge for leaders is not to ask, “How much do I know?” but “What do people feel when I walk into the room?”. Because when your presence feels like sunlight, doors don’t just open, people want to walk through them with you.
Who is the “sun” in your orbit, and how can you bring more of their warmth into your own leadership?
The Mystery
There’s another kind of energy that has always intrigued me: the Mystery.
And that’s exactly the point. It’s what they want from you… to be intrigued. To keep you guessing, to maintain relevance, without ever being truly known. Be careful. Because you can spend a lot of time trying to reach them, only to realise that was never their intention.
On paper, they’re impressive. They’re intelligent, kind, ambitious, with plenty of good qualities. You want to know them better. But every time you try, it feels like they pull back. They’re polite, sometimes even warm, but there’s a distance you can’t quite close.
It’s not that they’re negative. In fact, they can be genuinely likeable. But something about their energy is unfinished. They haven’t yet made peace with themselves, so they can’t fully show up for others. I’ve noticed that a lot of them, curiously, dress only in black. They avoid colour. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but it often felt symbolic… kind of like a protective shield.
Being around a Mystery is draining in a different way. You find yourself doing the heavy lifting in the relationship, trying to bridge the gap, only to realise they’re not ready to meet you there. They don’t drain you with complaints, like the Black Cloud does. They drain you with absence.
I’ve seen this play out in teams too. Talented people with all the potential in the world who never quite step forward, never quite let others in. You want to back them, but you can’t build around someone who won’t fully show up.
Leadership takeaway: Mystery may hold attention, but it doesn’t build trust. Leaders who rely on being unreadable might stay relevant in the short term, but they never inspire loyalty. To lead, your energy must be authentic and aligned, not elusive.
Have you ever found yourself intrigued by someone who kept you at arm’s length? How much energy did it cost you?
The Chameleon
At first, the Chameleon is dazzling. I’ve met them in meetings, social circles, even in everyday life. They slip into any environment like they were made for it. One minute they’re mirroring the language of executives, the next they’re blending into casual small talk at the bar. They’re charming, relatable, and always “on”.
That kind of adaptability can be intoxicating. In business, they often rise quickly because they connect with anyone. In life, they make you feel like you’ve found a kindred spirit. But then, slowly, you notice the cracks.
Their energy shifts depending on who’s watching. The version you got yesterday isn’t the version you get today. You start to wonder, Who are they, really?
And then comes the moment that truly defines the Chameleon: the test of loyalty. I’ve seen it happen more than once, and it’s even more jarring when it happens in a friendship circle. You find yourself wondering, Would they ever stick up for me?
A conversation turns tense. Someone is treated unfairly. The room gets quiet, and you expect the Chameleon to step in. But instead, they quietly step back. Their instinct for self-preservation kicks in. In that moment, you realise they value their place in the room more than the person beside them. And once you’ve seen that – once you know they’ll disappear when it matters most – it’s impossible to forget.
The trouble with the Chameleon isn’t that they lack skill. It’s that you never know if they’ll stand when it matters. They can win the short-term trust of a room, but they struggle to hold the long-term trust of people.
Leadership takeaway: Adaptability is valuable, but without authenticity, it erodes trust. Leaders who change colours to suit the room may gain attention, but they’ll never earn loyalty. The real test of energy isn’t how well you blend in when it’s easy, but how firmly you stand when it’s hard.
Do you know a Chameleon? And when the test of loyalty comes, would you trust them to stand with you?
The Quiet Anchor
Some of the most impactful people I’ve ever known didn’t raise their voices at all.
They weren’t the ones dominating the room or chasing the spotlight. In fact, they often blended quietly into the background, until the moment came when they were needed.
Sometimes it was through silent gestures. I once worked with someone who rarely spoke up, but when a deadline was collapsing, they were the one who stayed late, fixed the unglamorous details no one else wanted to touch, and quietly saved the day. No fanfare. No need for recognition. Just steady hands when it mattered.
Other times, their presence alone was enough. I’ve seen a Quiet Anchor diffuse tension in a room without saying a word. Just holding eye contact long enough with someone spiralling until the energy shifted. Not control, not dominance. Just presence.
And occasionally, they surprised everyone with calm defiance. I’ve watched them wait, listen, and then, when the group was drifting toward the wrong decision simply say, “No. This isn’t right.” Not loud. Not emotional. But firm. And that quiet refusal ended up shifting the entire direction of the team.
That’s what makes the Quiet Anchor so rare. They don’t need to dazzle or dominate. Their power lies in knowing when to act, and in doing so with such steadiness that everyone else recalibrates around them.
Leadership takeaway: Energy isn’t about volume. Quiet leaders can steady a team through presence, through action, or through calm conviction. And in a world full of noise, that kind of grounding is often the most powerful form of leadership.
Who has been a Quiet Anchor in your life… the one whose calm steadied you when you needed it most?
How to Get Right With Yourself
If energy speaks before words, then the real work is making sure you’re at peace with yourself before you walk into any room.
Here’s the simplest way I’ve come to think about it – if you don’t like seeing the people around you happy and successful, it means something inside you isn’t right. The longer you avoid that truth, the harder it becomes to change.
And here’s the thing, there’s always a voice inside telling you what it is. You can block it out, distract yourself, or drown it with busyness, but it doesn’t go away. Getting right with yourself starts with listening to that voice.
Once you’ve acknowledged it, the shift comes from action. Here are a few grounded ways to begin:
- Choose contribution over comparison. Instead of competing with others’ light, use your strengths to add to it. Whether it’s listening, problem-solving, or encouragement, ask yourself: How can I make the next person feel better after being with me?
- Regulate before you radiate. If you’re carrying stress, anger, or fatigue, it leaks into the room. Build a simple practice to reset, such as a walk, deep breaths, journaling, so you can show up as steady and intentional rather than reactive. I know it sounds cliché, but you need to change this ASAP if this is you.
- Anchor your energy in intention. Before any important interaction, pause and ask: What do I want people to feel after this? If it’s clarity, warmth, or steadiness, align your words and actions with that goal.
And remember, the five archetypes I’ve described aren’t the only ones. You’ve likely met others like the people who energise you in ways I haven’t captured here, or the ones who leave you drained for reasons you still can’t quite name.
So ask yourself: which energies do you recognise in the people around you? Which one do you recognise in yourself? And, more importantly, which one do you want to be remembered for?
Getting right with yourself isn’t about chasing perfection. It’s about alignment, letting the inside and the outside match. And when they do, your energy becomes the kind that people remember for the right reasons. Because at the end of the day, the energy you cultivate isn’t just how others experience you, it’s the legacy you leave behind.
The Takeaway
Your energy introduces you before your words do. It shapes how others experience you, and just as importantly, how you experience them.
Skills, achievements, and results will always matter. But the real difference-maker is the energy you bring into the room, whether it’s storm clouds, sunlight, distance, adaptability, or calm.
The challenge for leaders is to get right with yourself first. Because when your energy and your essence are aligned, you not only open doors for yourself but you create spaces where others want to walk through with you.
